The idea of Sanctam (Sanctuary by Am), came to me one day during a 50,000 word writing challenge. I had endeavored to write my own memoir during the month of November (it used to be called NaNoWriMo – national novel writing month, but now it’s just the fifty-thousand-word-challenge). I had assumed that forcing myself to write my own memoir would be both enlightening and a good outlet for personal growth. I was correct. However, it ended up being less of a memoir and more of a brain dump on any topic that I felt I had wisdom on. This included topics like yoga, food, fitness, relationships, family, parenting, students and kids, etc. Nothing was off limits and my only goal was to solidify my thoughts and personal beliefs about each topic. One of those topics was where I want to go with my business.

Sometime around 2018 I had come to the conclusion that I wanted to open up a yoga/wellness studio. I was already certified in basic yoga, resistance training, fitness kickboxing and personal training – I wanted a physical space for people to come together where I could teach ‘all the things.’ I had planned to have other teachers come in and teach classes on their own area of expertise and it would be a brilliant beautiful community of likeminded people dedicating their lives to living a more balanced lifestyle. And I would be the leader. I would talk to everybody that came through those doors, and I would be a part of helping as many people as possible and it would be lovely. It did not end up working out that way. I attempted to teach as many classes out of the local rec centre as possible, because financially that made more sense – starting your business with zero overhead on paper seems like perfection. I slowly built a website and tried to find creative ways to draw people in to take my classes with dreams of creating something from my own blood, sweat and many tears. I created the Pembina Valley Wellness Studio name (pvwellnessstudio.com) and have been slowly trying to turn that into something. For the past 7 years I have pursued this; trying to build up a business that was based on a model that I had seen work for other people and I kept trying to fit myself into that. I would get mad at myself many times for not getting things right, not posting on socials as often as I had seen other wellness influencers do, not posting about any and all topics that were ‘in alignment’ with my business, etc. As I reflected on my business throughout the writing challenge, I realized that I kept trying the tried and true models for being a fitness/yoga instructor, but I never really bought into that role for myself. Yes, I am a teacher through and through, but I don’t actually like being called a teacher. I feel like there are too many preconceived notions about what a teacher should and should not do, should and should not look like, topics that were important to cover and leave some of the more ‘woo woo’ topics to the side and only share with those thoughts were a select few people that I knew would not judge me for it.

An online fitness website and business is not what I’m after. I don’t want to constantly be ‘selling myself’ and trying to convince people to buy my stuff. I want to be a space holder; a sharer of knowledge; a guide to connecting people with other people and places who are the ones that know all the things. A school is what I want to create, but not a school in the traditional sense where the teacher teaches and the students listen, but rather a wellness school of sorts, a school to house all of the knowledge and people that could help guide everyone through working towards trusting their own inner guide; a space for personal growth and development on every level of being. A place to try out new things, new versions of self without fear of being judged. A place where you can show up wherever you are at, meet yourself wherever you are at, and move yourself forward from there. An ashram fits this idea quite perfectly. Look it up; see what AI tells you. It fits. That’s the vibe I’m going for with this space.

So welcome here. I’m still working on ironing out some of the kinks. I don’t quite have a 100% tried-and-true model or plan that I know is going to work. But I am here; the space here is now open where we can all show up authentically. I will be sharing the whispers that come to me (this is the one and only thing, I believe, that I will be carrying over from the Pembina Valley Wellness Studio) – little nuggets of wisdom that somehow magically find their way to me when they are needed by someone else the most. I will be attempting to intuitively build this ashram from the ground up. Welcome here, and thank you for being a part of this.